Fair warning: this post is a rambling, mildly terrifying look into my crazy mind
I’m officially 10 days out from my first strongman competition. What does that mean? That means I’m firmly in the freak-out-about-all-the-things stage meaning I feel simultaneously nervous and excited about the whole thing. This is pretty normal for me – the anticipation of anything tends to drive me crazy, so I can’t say I’m surprised by this. The final weights for events got posted the other day and luckily, thanks to the new weight class splits, they are all in my favor (meaning lighter). I’m competing against 3 other girls in my weight class and it is highly likely I will be the only one without any previous experience – again, pretty much what I anticipated. I don’t care about winning and I’m definitely NOT trying to win. Even with that, I can’t say that I’m not nervous.
This is when my extreme type-a, perfectionist brain takes over and for all intensive purposes, kicks the crap out of me. At this point, I’ve gotten pretty good at pushing that aside but it does creep in from time to time. I’m not nervous in a way of “OMG I WON’T WIN” (don’t really care about that) but I’m nervous in a way of “OMG I’M GOING TO FORGET HOW TO CLEAN A BAR OR DEADLIFT AND FALL ON MY FACE” which, I know is a completely ridiculous thing to think. I’ve cleaned and deadlifted a barbell 1,000s of times by now – I know that my body knows what to do. Still, it’s a thing. I do this all.the.time with squatting – I look at a barbell with 190lbs on it and think “what the hell? I can’t squat that for 5 reps!” even though I know I can, and I have twice now. I know I’ve put in the work – I’ve got several bruises, scars, and sore limbs to prove it – but there is still that element of doubt.
In a way, that little bit of doubt is reassuring. I know, I’m a crazy person but bear with me. The fact I AM a little nervous means this is going to be a good challenge for me. I mean, that’s the point isn’t it? To challenge myself, put it all out there, and have fun. It wouldn’t be much of a challenge if every weight or event was something that I knew I was guaranteed to make even on my worst, insanely hungover, haven’t eaten in 12 hours, nervous wreck sort of day. A guaranteed, super easy weight may make me feel more comfortable at first, but really, it wouldn’t be nearly as rewarding. At this point, I’ve got 10 days. Realistically, most of my work is done – I’m not going to make some crazy huge strength gains or magically become a stone loading master. The best I can do is refine a few things, listen to my coach, eat, eat more, mobilize, and relax.